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Totally stoked for Tokyo: A skateboarders guide to the Olympics

23 June 2016

Recently skateboarding (along with surfing, sport-climbing, karate, and baseball/softball) were given the thumbs up from the International Olympic Committee. Subject to a formal vote taking place in Rio, all these sports look like they'll be included in the Tokyo 2020 Games.

Recently skateboarding (along with surfing, sport-climbing, karate, and baseball/softball) were given the thumbs up from the International Olympic Committee. Subject to a formal vote taking place in Rio, all these sports look like they'll be included in the Tokyo 2020 Games.

We're pretty excited about the prospect of seeing the integration of skateboarding in particular - everyone knows that the Olympic movement needs to ensure it doesn't lose its appeal to youth, and this sport will undoubtedly bring a new flavour to the Games. But do skateboarders know what they're letting themselves in for?

As a bit of fun, we asked Jake Fontanilla to translate a brief note on some of the implications for the stars of the sport into skater-speak‎. This is the result (not to be relied on as legal advice!)...

“Yo, dude, you gots to have one of the sickest flip tricks on the block, possibly around the hood, but how you gon' show that to the world bro? Get on to the Olympic team!

First you need to get nominated by your national governing body - they'll set some criteria. Google that shiz. You also need to obey the WADA Anti-Doping Code at all times, which means no more late nights popping tricks and drinking 40oz or PBRs with your boys, instead its early nights in drinking that herbal tea bro, watching the Berrics or Street League. And what sucks about it is you pretty much have to let them WADA fools know everything you do, every move you make, on a daily basis just to make sure you don't do anything that could disqualify your ass. And remember that those WADA testers, they can come knocking at your door at any time dude, like a friggin parole officer, and “I was just out skating with my boys” or "I need to do my own thing and be me" will not cut it dude. And you’ll be spending your time in Tokyo locked up in the Athletes Village with eyes everywhere like you gon' try to escape or something and lots of muscled dudes with some serious poker face and chicks who run really fast.

But anyway, you made it to Tokyo 2020 bro! Congratulations dude!

Still there’s more to it than skating. During the Olympic Games some very strict Olympic Charter bullcrap rules apply. You can’t have all your normal kickass logos on your board or gear bro, I know, what kind of crap is that? Instead they'll dole out some patriotic gear which you'll have to wear solid for 2 weeks. And you can’t appear in any advertising for your sponsors during the “Games Period”. Remember the headphones from Beats by Dre which got athletes into mad trouble at the London Games? Don't be the fool in Tokyo. Also, anybody with sleeves will have to wear a long sleeve shirt just to cover up any tattoos which don’t meet Olympic Charter rules. Ain' that some shit, right. But you're killin it at the Olympics! You rule!"

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